Take a chance, you might win...

Christmas was approaching and as we all know presents are Its symbol. My dear lady, as I love to call her, had another gift prepared for me by then and of course I had something for her too, only this time I was going to send her something more plain, simple, symbolic if you will. A poem, specially composed for her eyes to see and lips too read(Last month I misplaced most of the poems I wrote and it’s hard to remember now all of them, it’s been almost a year since I last read them, but I will try my best to remember) . I was planning on taking a trip to her town as a present for Christmas too, but she claimed to be caught in the “family shackle” so I canceled my plan, or should I better say, delayed … the next couple of months went by with everyday messaging and long nights at the phone, and this all proved me that I was more and more sure that I wanted to see her, in flesh. So this is march 2010, I was chatting, text messaging, and losing nights at the phone with her since September 2009, about 6 months we could estimate. I finally decided to take my heart between my teeth and go for it.. of course I had asked her if she is ok with my coming, several times, but she seemed to take it as a joke, she did not believe I was really going to do this… just to meet her… ohhh but I was, I really was. From my town to hers there was only one direct train, the 1821, and was supposed to arrive at 2:59 A.M. after an 8-hour journey. On the 5^th of march, I was on the 1821 on my way to meet my better half.. I had to travel light because I really didn’t know what will I find when I’ll reach the destination… I had no idea how will she react, from the moment I set my foot on that train and to the moment I arrived, lots and lots of questions crossed my mind .. repeatedly . Will she be there.. Will she like me… Will I like her… Will she be as I expect.. Will I stand up to what she expects .. most based on fear as you probably figured out, the fear of the unknown…

Is there romance in mailing?

Reached home.. almost breathless.. my little brother was already back from school, so I had to lock myself in the kitchen in order to get some privacy, but no key was available so I blocked the door with one of my legs and with my hands I was trying to open the gift box as fast as I can. A book waited me inside, one small wooden bracelet, a congratulation card signed with a lipstick kiss, a pair of underwear, and of course a note.. with a lot of question marks in it.. and perfumed all over..she had broke the relationship she was in and waited for me to make the next move.. well.. somehow she already did. I could not just stand there and let her wait for my reply, I knew now she was interested, this was my chance.. don’t blow it. As soon as I could, I got something for her too, arrived around Christmas if I recall well. Nothing fancy, all handmade, it does count more for me and hoped it will for her too. I was regularly visiting the transfusion center for voluntary blood donation, because when I turned 18 I found out I had the rarest blood type in the world and the best suited for donation too. Therefore I got a fluffy heart from the transfusion center. I bought 3 white roses and one red, took them at home, I got 2 meters of colorful wrapping sheet , one shoe box and started to work on my hand-made gift. I wrapped the shoe box, I soaked the fluffy heart with my perfume, I wrote a short poem for her(which I will share will you later), I sacrificed all the roses and spread their petals in the box and sent it out by mail. Each package took from 2 to 4 days to reach it’s destination. We couldn’t send the packages to each other’s home because none of our parents were aware of our attraction.(by now you must have known we were at least attracted to each other)So the mail had to be picked up by each of us 7 days tops from it’s arrival.

Surprise

Of course I was pleased when I got a reply, even though I knew she was with another guy, the reply to my simple message gave me hope. Starting from that day on, every night I sent a good night message to this girl I can hardly say I knew back then. All I knew then, was that she was with about 6 months older than me, she is involved in a steady relationship, she is 320 miles away from me, and she usually reply to my messages. I kept to my plan for as long as 2 months, my birthday was approaching and she knew it, so she had a surprise prepared for me which should arrive on my birthday by mail. She was so stubborn that she did not disclose the content of it, although I was so curious as she informed me about my upcoming present with about 2 weeks before. Love letters… for me they are the romance signature, therefore in my opinion, if you haven’t wrote to your beloved at least one love letter then you’re not that much in love with her/him. Two days after my birthday the package arrived and my road to the post office was so much longer than usual, my heart seemed to pump my blood faster and faster as I was getting closer to my destination, although I was just walking, but finally, after a long 20 minutes walk I reached the office and got the package. You realize I could not open it there, so another 15 minutes I had to wait as I was running back home to find out what I got from her. Sent her a message to thank her although I didn’t know what was in, yet. . .

Distance relationship

Hi there! So here I was, single, shy and with mainly two choices: a long range risk or a short range risk .

I say this because, in my opinion, a relationship started on Internet tend to minimize the risk involved for a long term relationship while the face-to-face tend to have a higher risk. I choose to give another chance to long distance relationship, this would be the 4^th.

First one was 160 miles, lasted 2 days since the meet-up,

Second, 90 miles, lasted 4 days since the meet-up,

Third, 200 miles , lasted about one month since the meet-up

This would be the fourth , here it is the beginning, you remember I was chatting once in a while with a girl who was already in a relationship, it passed about one year since our first chat so during that time we exchanged phone numbers, but we didn’t dare to call each other for whatever reason. September 2009, the 9^th , I got a new job and I decided to send this mysterious girl after all one message. In order to make you understand how shy I was took me 3 days to finally send it, the first message to her was sent on September 12^th because those 3 days between I was thinking what if she will be upset?, what if her boyfriend will see the message?, what should I write?, who am I to confuse her ? and many, many other questions pessimistic ones mostly. But in the last day I needed just one optimistic idea to determine me push the “send” button: what if she’s the one? So I sent to her my first innocent message at midnight: “Good night!”

Depression

I will continue from where I left it hanging last time, the “break-up” with Dana. Short story is that she found another to make her happy, closer to her, as between me and her were about 200 miles, and I decided to forget about her, that doesn’t mean it was easy of course. After Dana, I made an oath to myself not to get involved in a new relationship for at least 6 months, and I did, for even more.

I gave myself to work, and spent time as much as I could with friends and kept myself away getting too close with any girl. However I have been enjoying some flirting activities with one girl. She was involved with someone else and maybe that was the reason I was so relaxed and not worry about my oath. I was only chatting over YM with her like once in a month or less, but even when she was offline I felt the need to leave her an offline message.. something stupid usually : Hi there! or hello lady!

Let’s go to September 2009, since between July 2008 and September 2009 nothing important really happen on this field. Here I was after nearly one year since Dana, by now I was completely cured and I felt the need to get close to some girl. Soon I was turning 19 and I was all alone, you must admit that is very sad for anyone to experience, of course we all have friends and parents and relatives which can make you feel complete and happy, but for me that was still incomplete. What choices did I have? What could I do? Most of you probably would have gone to a club to meet a new girl and make sure she notices you, then get to action, but I forgot to mention.. back then I was getting really nervous even at the thought of hitting on a new, total stranger girl. What would you do if you were me?. .